AZ

Random post is random

2012-01-24T00:32:00.002+08:00

I do my hair up like this most of the time.

Maybe it looks boring but.. Yeah. Lol.

Cactus, such loneliness

2012-01-17T23:29:00.004+08:00

Alcohol — Kim Jaejoong (JYJ Music Essay)

"...

Don’t know if you guys have ever done this before?

Don’t want to watch TV, don’t want to play the piano, don’t want to read any books

And don’t want to look at the people walking back and forth in that world beyond my window

I want to hide

In the end, I can only lie on the sofa motionlessly

Have no urge to move, only stare blankly at the cactus

As I was staring at the cactus I suddenly realized I was talking to myself,

“Am I feeling a little bit lonely?”

The fate of a cactus is that if the heart of his core have been fiddled with

His life would be shortened

The cactus seems to say to me, “you are lonely, just like me”

Lonely, frustrated, depressed

..."

Credits: TVXQBaidu

Trans: princessepiggy @ DBSKnights

Postman to Heaven

2012-01-12T22:36:00.000+08:00

"Because people who are left behind believe there is a Heaven."

How are you?

2012-01-12T16:47:00.004+08:00

I've been, am, and will always be waiting

Even if countless hot, stale tears keep streaming down my face

These tears that I no longer have control over

My heart has been, and is, in so much pain

I keep losing people I really love and appreciate

I feel like I'm losing myself with each passing day

Ijc's prom night

2011-12-05T23:23:00.000+08:00

Thanks to my girls shila, rai and omairah for helping/supporting me

With the dress, make-up, hair, and encouraging words? Lol <3

Luce Stellare Carnevale at Swissotel Merchants Court, 7PM

After registration, everyone is given their respective lucky draw number

Mine was 209(2011)

Food! Haha, they were alright. Not that delicious but good.

The MC was announcing the last three big prizes for lucky draw

During the last eating segment (the real meal) before dessert time

But I was feeling sick (Sick a lot lately) so I popped my pills

SUDDENLY

...

MY LUCKY DRAW NUMBER GOT CALLED

WINNING THE FIRST PRIZE

Clearly, I was real shocked! :O Hahaha, but thankful.

The first prize is a Samsung camera! ^^

Ty, Mr Azhar! :>

PS: Sorry. Cannot upload photos w friends here.

The files are too large and it's taking too long to upload:\

#TVXQinSingapore

2011-12-04T23:56:00.003+08:00

December the Fourth, Twenty o Eleven

TVXQ's Asia Fan-party in Singapore

At home. Getting ready. Was taking my own sweet time, OTL.

What is Love? Red Ocean. I love you, my Cassiopeia.

The security was real tight! It's difficult for me to take picts/vids.

So I ended up just enjoying my time watching Tvxq then:>

This is after the concert, w my newfound friends.

We even had dinner together at Pastamania after concert! Lol (^O^)

Official TVXQ merchandise was sold from 4pm onwards.

Light-stick, towel, poster set, mini clear file set, paper-bag.

I bought the light-stick, poster set and paper-bag only though.

This is the poster set.

And the paper-bag which is rather big actually.

Overall, though it was quite short (2hours), I'm satisfied!

Singapore Cassies have waited so long (max: 7yrs+) and finally!

TVXQ has come here to perform for us all (Even if there's only two now ;~;)

Thank you Jung Yunho and Shim Changmin for protecting TVXQ. Aktf!! <3

#TVXQinSingapore

2011-12-03T21:58:00.002+08:00

TVXQ's Yunho and Changmin arrival

At Changi Airport Terminal 2, Singapore

Sorry that the pictures were blur. It's their first time here in Sg.

And it's my first time seeing them too. Was really nervous and excited!

Hehe. Going to the fanparty tomorrow:> My category is moshpit PEN A.

Twilight: Breaking Dawn I

2011-11-25T23:32:00.002+08:00

Caught Breaking Dawn (Part I) w Aliffah, Ain and Mir at PlazaSing

Ended the day by playing Truth or Dare/Truth at Starbucks:>

SF REUNION

2011-11-24T23:39:00.001+08:00

Rai came back to Sg for short hols just recently

Sf's reunion on 24112011:>

H8

2011-10-18T23:40:00.001+08:00

The hate in your heart will consume your insides, slowly yet surely.

TPG

2011-10-14T15:30:00.004+08:00

ThePianoGuys are one of my favourites on Youtube.

They're so incredibly amazing. They play beautifully!

And since Adele's RITD is really popular right now,

I'll leave this right here on my blog. Enjoy x

Thoughts

2011-10-09T17:48:00.001+08:00

Perhaps these people that you other-ed, the ones you look down on for being different, weird, stupid, trash just for being themselves, being who they are, are better humans than you. I'm referring to the discrimination against the lgbt community. It's sick. Stop it. The hate, I mean.

It's not right to say "Oh, what a WASTE." just because they're not living up to your expectations, just because they're not what you expect them to be. They're not a waste. They have rights too, especially as humans.

Idk, I just really feel like voicing this out. Some of the people around me say things that are rather hurtful. Please stop for a moment and think before you hate and hurt.

Night

2011-09-29T23:58:00.001+08:00

Just another damaged soul

2011-09-25T22:57:00.002+08:00

Slightly suicidal

This suffering soul within

Pain

Such prayers

Die young

I shall

Broken shadows/Cafe

2011-09-17T23:30:00.001+08:00

I wrote a very short, and very random fic during a very random moment. Okay fine, I was studying when I decided to write this ._. Lol. Usually, I'm writing with #yaoi/bl in mind ._. So here's my second fic I'm posting here in my blog:

"Wait!" Everything flashes. His bold confession under a cherry blossom tree, the groans he made as we make love syncing perfectly to mine, the way I'd wake up every single morning to such deep and husky voice.. I'll always remember how this very voice never fail to make my knees weak and insides shiver. I could feel a tight grip on my right shoulder. Biting my lips, I fought the urge to turn around. Silence. Pushing his hand away, I made a run out of the dimly-lit cafe. I know, I just know how he's still standing there with his right arm still stretched outwards, not believing he'd just let me slip away out of his grip.

Sorry.. I'm sorry.

I dk

2011-09-07T19:04:00.003+08:00

I guess I should have entered the school as a quieter person who alienates herself away from everyone the beginning of last year. Junior college years must be the most unhappy years of my life. Honestly.. I don't really trust anyone. I don't know who are my real friends in this school. I don't know. I.. Just want to finish this shit and get out. I don't want to come back. I just want to leave. And then leave this country too. The system is just too much for me. I can't take it anymore. I really want to scream. I just really want to scream.

Assignments

2011-08-10T15:06:00.003+08:00

Never should have procrastinated during this two "National Holiday" (But currently quite procrastinating) There's so many assignments to be done by tomorrow. Especially Econs. Ohgod, OTL. Doing Literature assignment right nw. And I seem to be very lazy lately do try/complete Math hw. Omg. Why. I don't know. Ok, need to continue. Bye (T_T)

46th

2011-08-09T17:01:00.001+08:00

#happybirthdaysingapore

Sports Day

2011-07-29T23:12:00.003+08:00

Ijc's Sports Day. Pretty cool. Damn long day spent in school. The scorching heat, the loud cheering, the ending ceremony in the hall with one dance-group and two local bands playing for us.. All's good. Yeah not to forget the part when the hall was filled with green, yellow, red and blue airplanes flying everywhere before the performances start. It's so.. Pretty. But with the moshing etc, the airplanes ended up all stepped on and stuffs on the floor ._. Lol. Had an awesome time with Fai, Alif and Ais in the crowd.. And the crowd. Idk, dancing with people I don't know. Lol. Girls. So it's alright. Haha. Pretty cool you know, grabbing your schoolmate and just enjoying the time to the music. Everything's real fun tonight. And the bassist of the second band was pretty cute. Lol. Ended about 9 at night then had dinner at Causeway Point w Ain before heading home and reaching about 10pm. Yeah, pretty good day and night. Glad I stayed instead of escaping back home like many did. All's good, all's good.

English Literature for Poetry workshop

2011-07-24T22:25:00.004+08:00

Spent my Saturday's 10am-1pm at Stansfield College

Attended an English Literature workshop w Fai (^O^)

(Left) White carton saving bank. (Right) Walking to the train station.

Hp7II

2011-07-16T17:04:00.003+08:00

Gtg ready to go and watch Hp7II tonight! Such precious, magical childhood.

College Day/Kpk Talk

2011-07-08T22:15:00.005+08:00

Hi.

Prelims1 ended couple days back on Wednesday. Ended up rolling around in bed while reading fics for hours after waking up. Showered and decided to slump on the couch watching a dvd in the afternoon till nighttime. Was so lethargic when I collapsed on bed at 11plus. Lol. And today, we had College Day. Listening to speeches and applauding the prize-winners for hours ._. Um. After school, couple of my friends and I went to the Stadium to eat lunch while watching Fai training/running. So much for being present in a sports stadium. Lol. Headed back to school for the English Literature (KPK) lecture/talk by the play-writer's daughter. It was fine. But I was so tired and sleepy by then. But I managed anyway. Right now, sitting here.. I'm torn between gulping a few meds sleeping straight afterwards or sitting at my study desk sketching a thing or two. Um~ I don't know. Haha.

Exams

2011-07-02T16:24:00.002+08:00

Hey, it's Saturday evening. And I'm tired. Lol.

Yesterday, I didn't have any paper so I'm having a four day weekend break before the examinations resume again on Tuesday. Took H1 Gp, H1 Math, H2 Econs Paper1, H2 English Literature Paper1 and H2 Malay Language and Literature Paper1. Gonna have scary H2 Econs Paper2 and H2 English Literature Paper2 on Tuesday. H2 Malay Language and Literature Paper2 on Wednesday. I should be studying right now. Lol okay I should go.

The absolute perfection of their combined talent, skills and creativity.. Amazing.

Every single movement, every single sound. Beautiful. #♥

Empty = Loneliness

2011-06-20T21:12:00.002+08:00

"I cried, for happiness, for sadness, but most of all, for emptiness."

- Daul Kim (31 May 1989 – 19 November 2009)

B and W keys

2011-06-18T21:15:00.004+08:00

Taking a break from my Econs study. Nearly finished with this Supply-side Policies. Going to finish up some Math exercises later. Tired, real tired ._. But have to go on. Um~

So I cried again. Watching other people's fingers dance on those black and white keys. Envious. Disappointed. Just.. I don't know. I've always wanted to play the piano. I want to play the piano. Playing the piano is one skill I want to keep with me until the end of my time. It is to accompany me during both my happy and lonely time. Some people may argue that it's ridiculous crying over this stuffs. I just don't express it much to people in real life, be it family or friends. But.. I really want to play the piano.

Ah sigh. I should continue studying. Bye.

Um

2011-06-12T16:01:00.004+08:00

Honestly, lately.. I begun to think and well yeah, think. I know, I do realize I'm losing a lot of friends ever since I entered Junior College (though I do gain other friends in the current school I'm in right now) It's not the same. I just keep losing friends, we don't talk much anymore. I don't know. I just don't really know what's happening. It just happens.. W time. I guess this is it. Life's this way. And I've become a person like this. It's okay, and it's going to be okay. I'll be okay.

I don't like it when I buy something that cost a lot, people keeps saying I'm rich. I'm not. I don't even know how to explain. I just don't like it. I'm not rich. I just know how to save properly from my monthly allowance given for school. I save. Because I want something, I want to go somewhere (like the trip or smtg), I want to see the people I want to see at a concert, I save. We all get about the save amount of allowance, and some of you get more. Honestly, it's really not that I'm rich. Honestly, I really save for the things I want. So please. I don't like it. Ty.

Back two days ago, I just deposited about 100bux to my bank account. Slowly, but surely, I'll save up a lot by the end of this year. Rn, I cannot say it's a lot. But it's good. I must keep saving, fill up my bank back. After the A levels, I want to work and save more money in the bank. After, or during working, I'll sign up for piano lessons. I've always wanted to play the piano. I just don't really know how to express my wishes. I already have huge regret for being this late. I did cry few times before thinking how late I am, and how am I ever going to play the piano. These hands, these fingers.. When, how.. I didn't know. But now, I've already plan this. And I'll achieve it. I need to ._. So please~ Hope for me too. If you want to teach me also can! Lol. Aside from signing up for piano lessons, I thought of buying a keyboard (because piano is very expensive) by end of this June. But I think it's a pretty careless of me if I were to do it because I have a major exam around the corner ._. Um. Ok, I need to study rn. Ja mata~

Profound

2011-06-07T23:31:00.001+08:00

Yugen/Yoo-gehn: n. (Japanese) An awareness of the universe that triggers emotional responses too deep and mysterious for words.

Real random thoughts

2011-05-30T00:35:00.003+08:00

How come I've been single for quite a long time. I seem to have no interest in finding a partner and getting into a relationship anymore. Is it worrying? I don't know. I just.. Don't believe I can be in a good, long-lasting relationship. I'm not searching, and I'm not interested. I.. I feel sorry. For myself? I don't know. Just that.. People my age are in and out of relationships. I just haven't find the right one. And I don't believe I'll find the right one. It's difficult. I seem to be fine without it. Like I'm not meant to be in a relationship.

Sigh, I don't know. I really don't know.

Nostalgia

2011-05-07T22:11:00.003+08:00

In Greek, 'nostalgia’ literally means ‘the pain from an old wound.’ It’s a twinge in your heart far more powerful than memory alone. - Mad Men

Saudade: A deep emotional state of nostalgic longing for something or someone that one was fond of, which is lost and might really never return.

Saudade (Portuguese): Tenho saudades tuas translates as "I have saudades for you". This means "I miss you", but carries a much stronger tone.

Shinjite. Miduhyo. Believe.

2011-05-04T23:55:00.006+08:00

"The pain of having TVXQ separated is a pain I would never wish on anybody. Not even on my worst enemy or those crazy ass stans or even damn SMent."

Because it is this pain.. This piercing pain that wrenches your heart so tight you can hardly breathe right. Tears flow and you're crying so hard yet it isn't half as painful when your heart wails and cries within. The feeling of lost. Lost between time and space. The past, the present and the uncertain future. The hurting pain that convinces you the only way to mend your broken heart is by taking steps to leave, and the same hurting pain that is comforting as we realize we are not alone in this wait. We are waiting together, and they themselves are waiting for each other. This sharp pain that causes a twinge in your heart as you struggle with beautiful nostalgic memories, your mental strength and your faith altogether at once. For a long period of time. Belief.. Is an abstract concept. And believing is difficult. Yet, with this believe.. We walk together forever. Through good times, and bad times.. Let's wait. Always Keep the Faith. Hope to the End.

Sigh

2011-04-27T21:46:00.004+08:00

Lately, I feel like a miserable heap. I skipped school for two days cause I was feeling too low and just need to stay in bed for a little longer. I just needed time alone. And I still feel miserable.. I'm just really too tired. Of everything. Haha. Okay, done. I need to finish up my Economic essays now. Bye, gnight.

Pw Grade

2011-04-10T15:16:00.004+08:00

So we got back our A level's Project Work results back on Friday at 2:30pm in the hall. Damn, was so fing nervous. Everyone was like *shivers. All those months we spent on Project Work back last year. God. What an experience! Lol. And yeah.. I wasn't expecting an A cause expectation brings to disappointment if I don't actually achieve it. Especially after getting A's H1 Malay results about a month (?) ago. Wasn't up to expectations and stuffs. But dang! When they let us go see the boards.. It was.. Wow. Everyone rushing to the boards like war. Lol. And finally caught sight of my name.. And beside it, my grade.. A. Seriously, I'm thankful. Phew;>

Okay, when I got home on Friday, I was like: Damn.. Let's finish all assignments tonight!! And it's Sunday already today.. Yet I haven't touch them. Lol ._. I just finished printing lots of my notes. Been too busy with Tumblr, Youtube and Fanfictions. Gah, I should stop procrastinating. Gonna start my work now. Lots of stuffs to do T-T Bye.

Second

2011-04-04T21:11:00.012+08:00

Title: Undelivered letters redelivered back to you.

Sounds alright? Haha, I don't know if I should write these stories. I have school and stuffs. But I.. I hate school. Lol. I just want to crawl and snug tight under my blankets. Escape the world, escape this world we live in ._. Sigh, I have to do my Malay Literature essay right now. So yeah, I'll be off. I'll reconsider and think carefully what and how to write this story, um. Gnight now:>

#random: Your voice is quavering, notes after notes dancing in the air like melody and harmony beautifully in love. Love. It is still love even if it is a painful, heartbreaking love filling the strong, waiting, shivering heart. Your cold, frozen heart that could only be mended when he embraces it close in that familiar warmth you have always longed and yearned for. But hearts, even the strong ones like yours, could only take so much.. How much longer could you keep holding on?

secrets are dangerous

2011-04-04T20:56:00.000+08:00

Don't judge me just because you think you know me

forever together

2011-04-03T16:21:00.004+08:00

Your voice sounds like Heartbreak

Why is your Heart so Sad

And your Whole Being so Broken

Heal

For one day, some day

We will all meet once again

Under the same dark night sky

Lit up by the glistening bright stars

Five of which forming the shape of the letter W

Sigh

2011-04-03T15:45:00.003+08:00

Cjes cancelled the Singapore stop for the Jyj world tour concert. Because they couldn't find a replacement for Sg's promoter? Idk why they won't work with the original promoter, F&D? They didn't provide any reasons why. And then, they announced This.. Including the part that Taiwan is replacing Singapore's stop on the 23rd of April. What? Why. WHY. Wae.. Just tell us Why. Why can't they just work it out for our stop and add Taiwan on the list somehow. Why now? We've waited since the promise back last year. Sigh, I don't know. I just feel.. Lost and disappointed. The only thing (other than waiting for Dbsk's reunion) I looked forward to in 2011. Sigh. I don't know. Pain.. Painful heart. I'll get over it.. Soon *cries.

Sf reunion/Nostalgia

2011-04-02T20:49:00.000+08:00

Bored

2011-03-31T14:02:00.002+08:00

In the school libraria now. Using my iPhone to blog. So --- bored. Ugh. Good thing, we received our Math results and Idk. I could have gotten better scores but.. I did get an A though. So yeh:> Phew (^o^)/ Okay gonna go to iCafe right now. Get some snacks or something. Bye:>

Aktf

2011-03-30T22:25:00.003+08:00

And when I go asking myself: Why do I keep waiting? Are you really returning?

I stop and remember when I dropped on my knees with a jaw-dropping expression

I couldn't believe how long I took not knowing your amazing essence better and quicker

It's like: I finally found you. You. You. You. You. You. Your beautiful harmony blends well

And I don't want to let go, I can't let go

This timeless, amazing, beautiful love

Cause there's a thing called "Believe"

Believing in each other, together

We'll all meet once again

Someday, certainly

Body ache

2011-03-30T21:32:00.004+08:00

Body aching so bad. Been sick and feverish.. But yesterday's five stations during physical ed was tiring and painful. So I kinda skipped school today. Real bad body ache.. Up till now T-T And guess we'll be running 2.4km tomorrow for mock test. Huge sigh please. Want to cry so bad right now ._. Ugh. And tomorrow, h1 Math students will get our Block Test results and papers. Ohgod, I hope I pass.. well. I want to get an A.. Or a B. Please T-T Pray for me. Haha. Okay, gonna rest right now. Been watching a lot of Jin's random old videos on Youtube just now. Lol. And just found out he made a Twitter account today. You can follow him here: @jin_akanishi. Good night (^O^)/

Living in the past, existing in the present

2011-03-27T19:48:00.005+08:00

Nostalgia: (n.) A sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time.

Drag me, drag me away from this past I'm still living in

And when you do, know that I'm still the same dead me existing in this reality

Cause I'm living in

Living in the images of black and white

Alcohol (Completed)

2011-03-27T17:20:00.006+08:00

Hi. Finally, I've completed my first (fan) fiction. Here it is:>

Title: Alcohol (Completed)

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in this.

Stepping out of the shower, fresh warm water drips from his soft and silky jet-black hair. He pursed his strawberry-red plump lips and closed his eyes gently as he dries himself with a newly washed red towel. Slipping into his usual white wifebeater and grey sweatpants, he made his way to the dimly-lit living room and planted himself comfortably on the cosy black sofa. His Russian Blue cat purrs softly next to his lap. He brushes his furry friend lovingly with his left hand. The grey cat suddenly leaps out of his hold, making his way to his plate of dinner he has yet to touch. The beautiful man chuckles watching his little friend chomping down his dinner hungrily. He then sighs softly as his white, soft hands reach out for his usual bottle of fine wine. "Aa~ What a lovely, lonely night.. Perfect." He thought to himself. The same lines delivered just like many other lonely nights before. His doe eyes sparkle as he carefully poured some of the dark juice into a classy Italian-made glass. He waited for awhile, staring at his cactus plant with a bored expression. "Lonely.. Are we?" He asked the green plant covered with thorns. He then lightly shook the glass in his hand and sigh a little louder than previously before taking a sip of his addiction. His so-called antidote to cure his sadness and emptiness within.

After taking one sip followed by another, and another.. Each sip turns into big gulps emptying bottles and bottles of wine and beer that lays scattered on the ground. He ran his fingers through his hair with frustration, cupped his face with both of his hands and.. sobbed. He slowly stumbled his way back to his room and threw himself on the bed. Hugging the pillow tight to his chest, he dozed into a deep slumber almost instantly. Just like every other nights. His suffocating addiction tends to assist his ability to sleep faster, deeper.. Darker without any dreams or nightmares intruding his head.

The alarm went off, signalling it's 9 in the morning. The miserable heap on the bed winced as the morning sun shone his whole room bright. He pried open his sleepy eyes. Such beautiful doe-eyes.. Filled with only emptiness and sadness now. He stretched his arms slowly and reached for his cellphone on the nightstand. Flipping it open to check if there were any messages, his heart wrenched in pain once again as his sight got fixed on the cellphone's background. His soft index finger trailed on the screen as he fights the urge not to cry. "Y-you. You receive the m-messages d-don't you? W-why won't you r-reply.. w-why?" He stuttered, talking to his phone screen pathetically. His whole body shakes as his resistance went crumbling slowly. Unable to hold on longer, he threw the phone on the messy bed and ran for the bathroom. Turning on the shower, he faces the shower tap and let his tears flow along with the running cold water. It feels better, just like this. They can't see.. He can't see. But who's this "They" and this "He"? Deep in thoughts, he whispered softly, "Maybe it's me.. Maybe it's Me who can't see." Crying harder afterwards.

After dressing himself well, he checked on his cute and fat grey cat. Fed him breakfast and poured more of the cat biscuits in his grey plate. Walking to the kitchen's fridge, he grabbed a carton of strawberry milk and poured some in his morning ceramic cup. His fingers fumbled, pulling a cigarette out of its pack. He lit it up and smoked while his mind traveled aimlessly, blankly. Suddenly his phone rang, "Yes, what is it?" His voice hoarse from all the bottles of liquor and sticks after sticks of cigarettes he had before. He shook his head and told his best-friend that he will be leaving the house soon, adding "No, it's okay. Don't worry." before hanging up. His whole day was spent in the studio. Recording the self-composed songs he made. It was 2 in the morning when he was finally done with everything. He was yawning as he slipped into his jacket, getting ready to leave. He bid his best-friend goodbye and left for his parked car. He got into it and started driving on the almost empty road. Slowly, he stopped and parked the car nearby a 24 hour convenience store. He locked his car and entered the shop. Grabbing the basket, he quickly load bottles of alcohol in it. He placed the heavy basket on the counter with a thud, causing the young worker behind it to gasped and eyed him worriedly. He gave a weak smile, paid for his purchases and left quickly. He did catch a soft voice asking him to take care before the door closed behind him. He sighed softly and got in his car once again, the engine roared to life as he drives straight to his warm yet lonely apartment.

Once he shuts the apartment brown door tight, he places the bags of bottles on the coffee table. He slips out of his jacket and yawns as he slowly descends to sit on the floor, leaning his back on the black sofa. *click* He starts off with a can of beer first before moving on with the bottles. He drank and drank as seconds passes by to form minutes and minutes together form hours. Gathering about four more bottles in his arms, he drunkenly stumbles his way to his bedroom. He lies down in the middle of the bed and stare at the plain ceiling above him. "You would embrace me just like this if you were still here. Why won't you come back and hold me in your arms once again? Please.." His heart just keep aching within. Sighing, he sat up straight and attacked another bottle of alcohol. And another, and yes. Another. Flipping his cellphone open, he traces the image on the screen once again as warm tears trickled down like lonely, sad drizzling rain on the two embracing figures on the small Samsung screen. His eyes shifted for a moment. It was 5:43 in the morning already. "This timing, this very timing was when you left me Yun." He clenched the sheets beneath him. Shakily, he grabbed the last bottle of alcohol as his right hand filled a small packet's content in it. He brought his cellphone close to him and kissed the screen one last time before gulping down the last bottle forcefully. Lastly, he dialed the familiar yet unavailable number on the cellphone keys and.. "We'll greet each other again.. We'll greet each other again now." He repeated time and again before lying down lifelessly. Literally lifelessly, this one last time.

Done. How is it? I don't know. I really have no experience. Lol. Just decided to try writing. So there it is. Um. Hopefully I'll improve. Looking forward to writing the next one soon:> Guess I'll post my fics here since no one reads this dusty blog anyway. Haha. Okay, gonna stop Tumblr-ing and everything. I have essays to write. Pft:\

Over

2011-03-25T23:40:00.002+08:00

Hi. So yep, today's Friday. And I have no school. I spent the whole day - Eating, watching aadbsk3, eating again, watch some drama on the telly and on the laptop up till now. Pretty unproductive. And yes, I'm finally done with the last paper yesterday.. Block Test is finally over:> Okey, gonna leave a Weaver live performance video before I sleep. Rest well, gnight everyone \(^O^)/

Aktf

2011-03-18T15:54:00.002+08:00

In the night sky, Cassiopeia shines brightest when the

Five glistening stars connect with each other in the form of W

I miss you, alot

Dong Bang Shin Ki

♥

Alcohol

2011-03-16T23:07:00.001+08:00

I'm not good I know. I don't normally write stories and share (except in schools lol) Sigh this is pure random moment (an incomplete one that is) after staring at the ceiling for too long yesterday night before sleeping ._.

I don't really know how to continue.. And how to end it. Yet. Still deciding ._. But I've got two other plots in my head. I'm supposed to be studying. My block test is coming real soon.. Next week. Lol. But okay. Here are the two ideas/titles.. You can assume on your own or maybe roughly guess what it's about on your own I guess. Lol. One: Taxi love. Forbidden, one-sided.. Give me a reply. Two: Undelivered letters to you/Identity of the anonymous letters. Okay, might sound weird. I don't know if I'm going to write them out. I'm not good. I like imagining in my head only.. Lol. Okay, it's 12 in the morning. I have Literature consultation at 9 later. Have to go to sleep now. Gnight:>

Earthquake and Tsunami

2011-03-11T23:18:00.002+08:00

#prayforJapan

For those sitting, waiting for their fate outside of Tokyo Disneyland

For those hanging onto their lives in those shaky buildings and homes

For those that are trapped in the darkness and sharp edges under fallen roofs

For those that are in cars, ships and houses that are swept hard by the strong water

For those that risked their lives reaching out to save weak women and children in need

For those in misery learning about their dead loved ones

And also those waiting for their missing loved ones

#prayforjapan

Flumpool

2011-03-06T17:07:00.004+08:00

Hi. I just finished Math corrections. Gon start on Economics essays soon. And Oh God, I don't know what and how to study for General Paper (Block Test) that is coming soon this Wednesday:\

The other night, Friday night, when I did my English Literature assignment.. I only finished the essay at 3:55 in the morning with 1, 325 words. Had to do readings, etc while getting freaked out time to time cause it was so dark outside and very quiet while I did my work on the laptop. Brr ._.

I was watching WEAVER music videos, then I decided to randomly try and listen to a Flumpool song like.. Completely till the end. I've heard of Flumpool before but I just don't listen to them. Not bad you know.. I actually like their music. And listen/watch more of their music videos:>

My favourite Flumpool song/music video: 花になれ

Tonight

2011-03-04T21:59:00.009+08:00

#nowplaying: TOHOSHINKI/東方神起 - 明日は来るから
#nowfeeling: Frustrated, disappointed, and just really down.

Hi. It's Friday already, phew yes. But Block Test is coming very soon ._.

I'm supposed to be doing my English Literature assignment (v long essay) which is due tomorrow morning right now. But I've been watching a lot of music videos.. *gulps. Haha. Anyway, new Japanese drama titled "Beautiful Neighbour" will debut on ChannelU tonight at 11.30PM. I really want to watch!! So I must complete this assignment quickly T_T

Anyway, I'm pretty hooked on BIGBANG's new music video, Tonight. Haha.

shim_azxclusive

2011-02-27T13:55:00.012+08:00

#nowplaying: EXILE - Your Lips.
#nowfeeling: Suffocated by intense mixture of feelings.

Omg hi. Lol, I bet no one's here. Been so long, too long since I last write something on Blogger. I've been busy with school and most of the time, I use Twitter and T_ instead. It's faster. But I guess I want to continue blogging like I used to here.

So.. Hi. To nobody..? Haha.

I don't know what to write.. Um. Let's see. I've turned 18 this year in January. And studying my second year in Ijc. Pretty crazy.. How dull and repetitive school life is. That's why I skipped a lot of school lately. Lol. Well, I know it's risky.. I'm gon face the bullcrap after doing so. But I guess I just hate school. Too much now. I like my friends, and I actually want to study.. But I don't know? Um *gulps. Lol. Anyway, I've been pretty much alone. Ok not really. But I don't go out much. And I guess I really should. I should go out more often like I do in the past. I've been so worn out.. And it seems like I don't have a life ever since I entered the Jc world. I don't go out much, I'm usually not happy.. Like smiling happily. I know.. I can feel the difference myself when I sit down and ponder about my life or when I sit down and browse through pictures in the past. Sigh.

Okay. I applied for this J2, H2 Economics June trip.. And I don't think I can go anyway. Lol. Cause I f-ed up bad by skipping lots of school starting of this year already. I did get a B for my promos last year. Sigh, but I guess I won't get to go. I just applied to test my luck. I don't know. The trip's to Seoul, Korea. And chosen students have to pay half of the trip cost, which is about $1, 200? Um yeah. I don't know. Pretty cool.. If they get to meet people they like by luck there. I don't know la *envious. I already think I won't get to go, so I'm not that disappointed.. I guess? Haha.

(Japanese self-study: Picture when I just started. There's more that I've wrote down now)

Okay, what else.. Oh, I decided to start self-learning Japanese. I'm quite a slow learner. Lol. But I guess it wouldn't hurt self-learning it eh? Ha. Besides that, I actually want to talk to Jejung. Lolol. He's taking English classes. I just want to leave messages that he might read (He reads them tweets, lol) and understand. I'm still very much into Dbsk/Thsk/Tvxq, and nothing will change that I guess. Timeless.. Such amazing, beautiful magic they create together as Five glistening stars connected together forming the letter W. Their Melody, Harmony.. Beautifully in Love *inserts plenty of twinkling stars and red hearts here. Lol.

2011. TVXQ finally came back.. But with two members: Yunho and Changmin. They finally get to sing and released their album Keep Your Head Down. While the other three TVXQ members, who are now known as JYJ: Jaejoong/Yoochun/Junsu, released their album filled with six of their self-composed songs (2010) called Their Rooms (Music Essay).

From #KHYD, I love the track 'She' the most while from #TRME, I love 'Nine' the most. Nine is Jaejoong's composition. Written in 2010, he explained through Twitter that the song is about how the five members finally got together to debut after Yoochun joins them last. Yoochun joined them in year 2003, the year Dbsk debuted. Nine.. Nine years. Tracking back, year 2001 is when Jaejoong meet Yunho. "Yunho.. My Yun, Ho. Yunho, my Other Half. I love you." Remember? *cries forever.

"Do you not love me? Do not want to forget
Even if I want to start anew, it doesn't seem easy for our love
My memories, sweet memories
I have become someone who can no longer hide it

- NINE -

Forget the old days, we just need to have the two of us
Now we know it, don't we?
We know it even if we don't say it out tomorrow
We will shout out of the yesterday that isn't too far
I'm sorry that I can't say it.. I love you my dear"

Sigh T_T If I'm lucky.. I'll get to see Jaejoong, Yoochun and Junsu (JYJ) again this year. They're coming for worldwide concert. Singapore stop: 23rd April 2011, Singapore Indoor Stadium. I really, really, really want to go see them. So, I'm hoping I get to save enough and get my ticket properly this time around (^^,) Woo. Haha. Okay, I gotta get back to my assignments. I'll blog again sometime soon. Maybe after my block test or something.. Bye ._.

Whatever they say, really don't listen.

2010-11-14T18:40:00.004+08:00

Everyone wants us to break up. Oh, if this is reality then don't believe in destiny
Whatever they say, don't listen. All they're doing is being envious of us
I just hope you will believe in whatever I tell you
Whatever they say, I don't care. I love you
I can't lose you, it's so difficult

THSK Wasurenaide

2010-10-31T23:13:00.004+08:00

Beddo ni suwatte kimi no koto wo kangaete ita
Ae nakute mo ii, aitai kono kimochi dake de ii kara

I was sitting on the bed, thinking of you
It's okay if I can't see you, this feeling of missing you is just enough for now

Fukaku kizu tsuite ita koto, kizukasazu waratte ita kimi ni
Zutto taisetsu ni suru kara, sakebi tsuzukeru arifureta kotoba demo

Although hurting deeply, you were smiling and not letting me acknowledge
I will always cherish you, so I will continue to shout out even though my words are ordinary

Kaze ni natte sotto tsutsumi tai
Kimi ga iru sekai ni sugu tonde yuki tai
Aitakutemo aitakutemo, matteru kara tada wasurenaide

I want to be the wind that wraps around you gently
I want to fly immediately into your world
I want to see you, I really want to see you
I will wait for you, so don't forget about me

KPNC2010

2010-10-28T21:39:00.005+08:00

It's 28th October (Thursday) right now. I have attended JYJ's showcase on the 16th of October and also the KPOPNIGHT concert on the 23rd of October - Will update on that soon. Real tired nowadays. I feel like I'm losing my soul. I'm terribly drained and I feel like my brain's gonna burn. I feel so dizzy, heavy and exhausted lately. I just feel like raising the white flag and saying goodbye, I'm done with this. But sigh, I gotta go on. There's As (H1) Project Work and (H1) Mother Tongue to settle even though it's the end of Midcourse/Promos:\

The JYJ showcase at SG Expo Hall3 was so strict
I had a v difficult time catching good photos of them
So I ended up enjoying th showcase instead, so sorry~
JYJ appearing in stunning white w the track called: Empty

KPOPNIGHT concert at SG Expo Hall2, less strict
The order of appearance of the seven Epic groups that night:
FT Island, D-NA, INFINITE, ZE:A, SHINee, SNSD, BIGBANG
Here's the clearest photograph I took that night: BBs Tae Yang

So random, but oh my shinki - For my Cassies XD
I didn't know my comment/shout-out would be rated like that
So, you can see my comment on Empty video (track playing now)

JYJ The Beginning (Luxury Edition)

2010-10-15T23:46:00.015+08:00

Hey, I know you know we know I'm cheating on the date! Hahaha. I'm updating this post on the 18th of October actually, but just trying to keep up. Was so busy and tired to post on actual dates.

It's announced that there's only 99, 999 limited pieces of JYJs The Beginning Luxury Edition album. I was contemplating whether I should or should not place a preorder of it before the released date. I had spent 300+ on KPOP Night Concert that will take place on 23rd October (which I regret cause I should've saved it for future DBSK-related events. But I'll go anyway for my friends ♥ ^^) and 200 on JYJ The Beginning showcase that will take place on 16th October. So I was left with limited cash but enough to preorder the album. So after thinking carefully, I placed an order at Tampines CDrama for 88.80. The Luxury Ed package comes w a huge JYJ poster and t-shirt:D Arrived for collection on 15th Oct^^

Don't say Goodbye to us, no not Now not Ever

2010-10-10T19:18:00.007+08:00

Don't say Goodbye, we really don't wanna let go of your hands. We can hear your hearts telling us, we can hear your hearts: You still want us, you can't hide it, you can't lie. We won't allow it, the lies wanting to separate. Look into our eyes and tell us: It's not the truth. Don't say Goodbye, we really don't wanna let go of your hands. We can hear your hearts telling us, we can hear your hearts: Even if the world turns its back on us, even if it's a painful love: You are our Love, you are our Soul. TVXQ, AKTF ♥

Haiz

2010-10-08T17:54:00.000+08:00

YES PROMOS/MIDCOURSE IS FINALLY OVER
BUT SAY WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
THERE'S STILL PROJECT WORK AND As MT
*long sigh*

YunHo, ChangMin - I still love you ♥

2010-10-06T15:16:00.011+08:00

I successfully got my pair of CAT A tickets for JYJ showcase in SG *sigh of relief* Quest site was crashing so badly cause there were about 5,000 of us on at the same time at 7pm to get the tickets. I could click it at 7, and tried to submit. Then error error error. It took nearly an hour to get through, order and receive confirmation email. Phew, it's okay. As long as it's own effort. I love DBSK alot, but it's okay. As long as I'm in the same hall, no matter the distance, I'm thankful enough to listen to the beautiful voices with my own ears. Excited for the 16th of October ^_^

JYJ SHOWCASE WORLDWIDE TOUR: THE BEGINNING
It will start this coming 12th of October: First stop @ Seoul, South Korea

CLICK HERE: COUNTDOWN TO JYJ's THE BEGINNING

JYJ IN SG

2010-10-02T14:36:00.009+08:00

Oh yes it did! Yes it did! You wouldn't believe it.. (I didn't believe it either at first) BUT! JYJ HEARD US! JYJ HEARD SINGAPORE!! THEY'RE COMING! I was practically crying in-front of my laptop and my heart was jumping, pumping, beating so fast and so crazily! All I could do was "OMG NO OMG OMG OMG YES OMG HELP ME OMG LIKE OH MY FING GODS OF THE RISING EAST" And just so you know, I only found out after a couple of hours of scalding my left-hand. I went back home on Thursday late afternoon, was so hungry (Really hungry! Cause I've been saving my money and avoiding spending of money on unnecessary things - Yes, even for food - Just in case DBSK comes to SG) so I rushed alone in my house running here and there, switching on the laptop to find out QUEST's decision and also boiling my pot for my instant noodles. After enough running and cooking, I was running with my bowl then the very hot soup spilled on my right hand which pushed the bowl to spill a lot of very hot soup on my left hand. I was like "Don't cry, don't cry.. WOAHHHH" Hahha, damn. For JYJ sake, for DBSK sake I reckon huh? Yes, they heard us and are coming on this coming 16th of October for the promotion cum showcase of their new album, the Beginning. They will be very busy with their tight schedule due to the world tour starting this October. Wow, I'm proud of my boys. Show them what you got! You can sing on the streets for all we care, we will all still be there to give our love and support as we appreciate those precious, high-quality vocals expressed.

Okay, I've got to go. Mid-course is coming and I have to start studying. ChangMin would scream with his killer lungs if I don't put my head to the books as I fantasize and imagine the moment when I finally get to watch and listen to his three hyungs that has yet to come! XD I'll leave some details here if any are interested to attend the event ^_^ Can't wait to be part of the Red Ocean - Wearing my red shirt, waving my red balloons and red light-sticks, listening and appreciating those voices I've been waiting to hear in person in that hall with the other Cassies. Wow, can't believe it's really going to happen. Anyway, I've decided (while showering?! XD I make life decisions in the bathroom, foreal) to not be selfish and get greedy fighting over the very limited VIP seats available though I afford it. I've decided to get hands on Category A, hopefully I get the choice of ticket successfully and safely. Pray and wish for me, thank you!

CLICK HERE:
[CONFIRMED] JYJ "The Beginning" Showcase Tour 2010 (Singapore)

EMERGENCY

2010-09-29T16:57:00.003+08:00

LISTEN UP, I NEED YOUR URGENT HELP PLEASE ^_^

QUEST might be bringing JYJ (also known as JaeJoong YooChun Junsu of DBSK/TVXQ/THSK) to Singapore on the 16th of October 2010 for their new album, the Beginning, promotion cum showcase. The date is fixed due to the tight schedules JYJ has; the World Tour in many different countries.

They released news regarding the quick survey they are holding. They're targeting 5,000 fans to give their votes and support for this event. The poll expires tonight, 2359PM. Fans and their votes are very crucial in this matter as to whether QUEST will bring JYJ in or not, so please go on and give your votes as soon as possible. One person is entitled to one vote.

I hope you guys help me vote, and make my dream (along w other i-cassies/sg-cassies' dreams) come true. Lol, please donate your vote, I beg youuuuu omg hahaha, dang. Please, help me. I love you, seriously. Haha. My heart really jumps at this news, it's my once in a lifetime opportunity (Okeyyyy maybe not.. Maybe yes? LOL) Please vote, gara gara go!!~

CLICK HERE TO VOTE/JOIN POLL
AND CLICK HERE FOR QUEST ID (ORGANIZER) FB PAGE

Wild Soul

2010-09-26T15:43:00.010+08:00

That one person: 190 tall with sparkling, beautiful, smiling, mismatched, happy eyes. The way he wears and fits in his comfortable, simple long-sleeved tees shall catch my empty eyes as I appreciate his long, slender, beautiful figure. I'll wait patiently yet eagerly for those intelligent, witty, cold jokes to escape from his very weird yet pretty, sweet lips. The way he'd run his miles, punch his bags, work himself out in those rooms filled with complex, heavy metal tools and with that, perspire will continuously drip and wet his hair also drenching his handsome, fine baby yet sexy face. He built himself well, just like a beautiful Greek god. Name the abs Sexy, Beautiful, whatever you want to but I'd rather they hide themselves good behind those pretty, long-sleeved knitwear. Having simple and warm tea along with a plate of glazed doughnuts in a cafe with the beautiful man sat across the little and round brown table would be mesmerizing and breathtaking. Ramen, pizza, spaghetti, everything as he claimed food to be the love of his life. Ridiculously, I wouldn't even mind losing the first spot in his heart to his love of his life. Eating about eight meals per day, it's magical how he's still a long, slender, beautiful walking figure. Though he's more than a healthy person, sadness can drown him, shedding those kilos off him. At one simple glance, it's quite easy to know if he's too sad, sick and thin for his sake. Many exclaimed: That Kid Would Marry A Refrigerator One Day. But I'd just tell them: Ladies, he have yet to find me - Just yet!

I swear I want to marry ChangMin already. Hahahahhahahaha k not really. I'm in love with that man, but I don't wanna get married. Sometimes, I imagine quite a lot and put words one after another to form sentences in my mind when I do. Lol bye!

Maze-tic

2010-09-26T14:07:00.003+08:00

26th September: Happy 2nd Anniversary, Mirotic! *.*
#MIROTICday will trend at 6PM, KST

Bonds

2010-09-21T23:25:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, or say most times
It's not about how Long your Love is
Instead, it tends to end up being how Deep your Love is
(Honestly, Love applies to various kinds - Not just your partner)

Plastic surgery

2010-09-19T17:56:00.006+08:00

Here, I'm going to start the topic on plastic surgery. Pretty random huh? Haha.

I don't understand why so many people have issues against plastic surgery as they go on accusing, insulting, criticizing others of doing plastic surgery. Be it people they know of personally, or people they know not of personally. I mean, fine it's your opinion. But really, keep it to yourself. You can discuss about this issue, no stopping. But please, with respect and maturity. Too many people go looking down on people who did plastic surgery. Doing plastic surgery doesn't equate itself to changing their whole personality and identity to becoming a bad person.

Even if one did plastic surgery, why should others bother so much? Even to the extent of passionate, deep hate just because one did plastic surgery on self. Okay, they did plastic surgery but god dammit, they didn't bother you right? And if they actually they didn't, those people should really glue their lips one to the other. Haven't they heard of puberty? Or losing weight? Or some other real reasons that can actually change parts of the facial features, even drastically?

Sometimes, especially during the teenage days, some people tend to have this period of ugly (Wait, I mean those less-good-looking, kental or lame) faces. Then people change (oh c'mon, humans change in so many different ways - personality, identity, attitude, outlook, etc) so ta-da!~ It looks like they've gone under the knives. Not saying that they all turn out to be pretty and perfect plastic-wise. But yeah, they kind of look and appear better. Really, facial features can change - Be it through surgeries or naturally. So, please.

Well, even if people did plastic surgeries.. It's their own choices, it's their own rights. So let them be. Seriously, why bother? They have the money to act on their decisions. They have the courage to stand being under the knives. If changing parts of their faces make them prettier, more good-looking and of course, happy, why not? Let them be.

Wow, serious talk huh? Haha. Just a random question: If you could, or want, to go for plastic surgery, what would you change? (Doesn't mean you have to do it. It's just if you have the thoughts of it) For me, let's see.. Maybe I'll fix my nose. Pretty common answer. So.. Should I? Hahaha, just playing~

Literature play

2010-09-18T23:51:00.006+08:00

After shower haven't comb my hair and look, my undone bed! Lol XD
Was getting ready to head to Bugis library for the Literature play, KPK
I'm very tired lately, I think it can really show from my face huh?
Sigh, anyway the play was in Chinese! We had to read subs TT
Overall, it's okay I guess. Quite an experience~

Stand by You

2010-09-17T00:08:00.008+08:00

Sometimes I feel like I'm begging
Yet ever so silently
For someone, just someone
To hug my hurting heart

It's like I'm living a life fearing every single moment, every single angle if the freaking bomb is going to drop on me. Drop on me real hard. Every single day, this just goes on. The news I wait, that news we wait. Anxious and fearing the bad. Hopeful and anticipating the good. We live like this. Bad bullets hurt in the heart. They kill us slowly, silently but not surely. We are still standing, holding on strong. All these hurt we feel is nothing as compared to our five angels. When our hearts hurt so much, too much that we cry ourselves to sleep in those sleepless nights, or beg silently in the still of the night for just someone to hug these shaking, hurting selves.. We then tend to feel worse when we wish that we could at least reach out and hug the five hurting hearts despite our sad selves.

Such long and painful absence make these hearts grow fonder, hurt further. Yet still ever so hopeful. As dedicated fans/lovers, we all wish for the five of them to stand on one single stage soon, one fine day. Together, they'll once again create melody and harmony perfectly, beautifully in love. Yes, this overflowing love for each other (us to them, them to us, them to them) is true. After much thinking, I began to think: It's okay, it's going to be okay. Just let each of them be truthful and confess their honest wishes. It's okay to not stand on that stage that might hurt them someway, somehow. Just their friendship, the family bond they created and held on to should never be lost. Let them decide what makes them happy, what they actually want. As long as they're happy and together, it will make me feel thankful and at peace. For the first time, I understand and embrace the meaning of: As long as he is happy, it's okay cause I'll be happy too. Truthfully, it's not easy to grasp this difficult feeling and understanding. Now, right now, I really sincerely mean it.

All these suspend here, suspend there news hurts. Latest is today's news whereby JYJ's activities is put on halt by Avex. I've always believed Avex and Japan is the safest place for the boys to stay. They seem to give genuine love and care other than ensuring the boys work hard. These news hurt but it doesn't kill yet cause we are strong, real strong. We trust and are still waiting for them. We hope for them to once again come back to us. But we shall support them in their decisions, whatever they are as long as they are sincerely, honestly happy. So, don't lose hope. Just keep holding on, Cassies shall stay strong. ATKF ♥

ChangMin-shii, I'll try to study hard. Sorry I'm such a lazy and bad student. You always talk about school so enthusiastically and with full of motivation. Cry all you want to, just stop holding in just because you are the well-known strong and evil maknae. And remember, you must forever continue your eight-meals-per-day routine, araso?! No more of those previous period of time when you look so thin, sick and sad. Yunho-appa will take care of you v well, listen to appa as Jaejoong-umma is away xD ChangMin-shii, when I finish my school and have enough money, let's meet up. We shall eat together! ^_^ Don't worry, I'll bring all my certificates just in case you want to check I did well! Will those school certificates serve as qualification to get married to you after dinner? LOL XD Saranghamnida, ChangMin-shii :)

Tokyo Dome

2010-09-13T21:07:00.005+08:00

I'm always amazed when I look at how huge Tokyo Dome is. Always amazed at how special the stage is. Not just anyone are allowed to perform at Tokyo Dome. Only amazing, respectable, and honorable performers are allowed on that special stage. I've repeated the whole of Tohoshinki (the Secret Code) Live at Tokyo Dome performances for so many time. They're the first ever Korean group allowed to perform at Tokyo Dome. They're so amazing even in Japan that sometimes many people, including the Japanese, mistook them as as Japanese. Live at Tokyo Dome; that was the last concert as a group, up till now. I've always wished to sit among the respectful, full of appreciation Japanese crowd and watch TVXQ singing in Japanese on that beautiful stage one fine day. Technically, since Tokyo Dome is their last concert as a group, Love in the Ice is their last performance in a concert as a whole, as five.

So, here it is, Love in the Ice - 100% full of Heart, Mind and Soul:

This one performance (Bolero) is my favouritest out of Live at Tokyo Dome
The five of them just being the Rising Gods of the East they are (BLOWN)

Cassies always Cry. We live with Hope and Anxiety. But the most important thing, we know how to Wait.

Systematic, Problematic

2010-09-13T20:54:00.003+08:00

When I don't attend school
I realize just how much I Hate it
The whole system just create this Tension within

I always sit around, think and wonder
It's like we're all programmed robots or something
We're living, dragging ourselves like slaves to the whole Life system

SIGH I'll go to school tomorrow
And start revising for the End of Year (Promos)

I always have this image of upset ChangMin in my head
When I'm procrastinating, doing useless stuffs instead of studying/schooling
He's too intelligent and witty, always advising through UFO replies to study instead LOL
ChangMin-shii, saranghaeee ^_^

Park YC

2010-09-12T23:33:00.006+08:00

Love Bye Love

Like Melody and Harmony, in Love

The phone rang when Time kissed w Sadness
-
I'm always secretly in love w Micky Yoochun

Everyday reminder

2010-09-12T01:30:00.010+08:00

Do look back sometime
It's okay, Everything's going to be okay
Don't (ever) give up on each other, we're still with All 5 of You ♥

Youtube Downloader

2010-09-09T12:26:00.005+08:00

Okay, this is a total random post. I've always seen a lot of comments on Youtube as to how to get hands on the song, video, etc playing. Aside from supporting the artistes by buying their albums, we are all guilty of downloading someway or another cause it seems like the easiest way - Free and no traveling time. Years ago, I used to download through L_____ (Hey, I'm positive majority of you did too) But I'm not into those anymore (LOL) It's not even legal to begin with. Every single time I download from L_____, I'd count the seconds to the cops knocking on my door. Hahaha. I've been using Youtube Downloader (YTD) for a long while now. And I've always wanted to scream at the people who asked how to this, where to get this, whenever I see such comments on Youtube. I'm too lazy to respond and help them by telling there's such thing as YTD:\ Up till now, I only responded once regarding YTD on a Super Junior video, if I'm not wrong. Sooooo, that seems like the reason for this awkward, random post.

CLICK HERE: YOUTUBE DOWNLOADER
And go on, enjoy your better world!!~ :P

For Friends

2010-09-07T14:49:00.012+08:00

I broke down so badly yesterday listening to recently released PV of JYJ Itsu Datte Kimi Ni cause I've honestly been neglecting and selfish towards JYJ, loving HoMin more (cause ChangMin is right there:\) After the lawsuit news, when they did trio activities, it felt like they're abandoning HoMin (even though they looked like the abandoned ones:\) Despite so, I love them all the same. It just shakes the faith a little.

Today, 706, my heart just break into mini little sad pieces and shivers went down my spine. Really, I've never really knew how blind I've been. More like, how blind my heart had been. I swear I really feel like punching my heart real hard. I just realized that JYJ's song, W, is actually dedicated to HoMin and W is a same usual symbol, it's the shape of Cassiopeia (BLOWN, DIES, SHOOTS SELF) HOW COULD I NOT SEE IT? WAS MY HEART REALLY TOO BLIND? :\ This is the same song which made even fanboys cry during JYJ's A-Nation concert at Osaka, Japan. I thought it was just some normal crying song (almost all Dbsk songs make me cry anyway LOL) so I kinda passed it. Seriously, I need a heart check:\

JYJ W TO HOMIN ♥

The letters that the stars created in the night sky
We still believe that it wasn't a coincidence
In the same darkness, in the same distance
Always drawing the "W"
To make you able to find, it'll shine even brighter

Certainly...
Someday we will meet again
We think of you every time we close our eyes
You're everything
It's still natural that you are by our side
Now, we just wish that you're happy and
We'll climb our stairs one at a time
While imagining about our future, we're still waiting for you

Certainly...
Someday we will meet again
We think of you every time we close our eyes
You're everything
It's still natural that you are by our side
Until we can meet again, we'll keep your place
We believe that we can smile with you again
You're my only love
Please hold on

Even as time passes by, even if the road ahead will be more painful
You're our "pride" forever

What you mumbled to the stars in the night sky
We still believe that it is not "Good bye"
Under the same sky, imagining the same dream
We're still searching for the letter "W"
We'll always shine in the same shape
Keep in mind that I love you

I want to see you
I want to see you I want to see you I want to see you I want to see you I want to see you

"While connecting the shining stars one by one
I end up looking for the shape of you"
- Toki Wo Tomete (Please Stop the Time)

Picture of You (Saranghae nol saranghae)

2010-09-06T00:15:00.001+08:00

Naega gidarilge
(TVXQ More than the air I breathe)

This music video means alot to me (or say, cassies be it k, j, i)
It's like a message - Dbsk to Cassiopeia/Cassiopeia to Dbsk/Dbsk to Dbsk

JYJ (Jaejoong Yoochun Junsu) stands and sings together
while HOMIN (Yunho Changmin) stands and sings together
(This is reflecting the current situation right now:\)

When Yunho sang "My hopes are that we can laugh together, I hope I can accomplish it"
Parts of JYJ and HOMIN come together in one screen (Yunho Changmin Yoochun)

Jaejoong is known to be the one that brings Dbsk harmony perfectly together
All meet under Jaejoong's tree (LOL) and the picture is filled, complete

The initially empty pictures only filled w background held by the members
Are filled and complete once they meet together as five (as DBSK)

I don't know :\
I miss DBSK so much, my heart tightens and I cry a lot
Sigh, when will they ever come back? Might be my longest wait, Ever

KPNC2010

2010-09-04T23:28:00.007+08:00

Our (Faisal, Mujahid, Sabila and I) Korean Pop Night Concert 2010 tickets
Sgd258 (+37.50 extra charge) each, Category 1 Standing pit A tickets

After standing, queuing up outside Somerset 313 for 6hours
Experiencing total injustice of ticketing procedure
Overnight outside malls, on cold hard floors
And etc, we finally got them tickets! ^^

6GROUPS, 1STAGE
23rd October 2010, Singapore Expo Hall 2
Big Bang, SNSD, SHINee, FT Island, Infinite, D-NA

SF Iftar

2010-08-27T23:34:00.004+08:00

27 August 2010, SF break fast (iftar)
Dinner at Downtown East, Dessert at Tampines1 Frolics

AKTF

2010-08-03T21:27:00.007+08:00

It's been more than a year. When will my five Rising Gods of the East ever return?
I still Keep the Faith (Eternally) Cassiopeia, enough cheating already. Please?

Love in the Ice:
Because it is a Love
As Beautiful as it is Miserable

Tell me, is this Cowardice?

2010-07-26T22:03:00.003+08:00

One day
I'm going to end up watching the man I love
Put the ring on someone else and share future w her forever

And my mind actually tells me "It's okay"
It's going to be okay

Still uncertain what my heart tells me though
This heart speaks lies and betrays itself more than a friend does

I love you

2010-07-25T22:28:00.008+08:00

AYAKAs COVER OF YUTAKA OZAKIs I ♥ YOU

Every single day I ask my heart
Why haven't you change?

NDLM

2010-07-24T23:59:00.005+08:00

NUIT DE LA MUSIQUE

MUSICIANS CLUB AND CHOIR CONCERT@LT1, 630PM

THANKS TO ALL THAT CAME TO GIVE SUPPORT
US MUSIC CLUB AND CHOIR MEMBERS IN THIS CONCERT

THANKS TO THE WHOLE MC, SOUND SYSTEM PEOPLE, TEACHERS
EVERYONE INVOLVED IN THIS SUCCESSFUL EVENT (LOL SO FORMAL)

THANKS TO MY FRIENDS THAT CAME DOWN, MEANS A LOT TO ME
YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME, THANKS FOR CHEERING FOR MY BAND

AND THANKS TO MY BAND, SHARE THE SIN, FOR THIS EXPERIENCE
:)

2nd: Lucifer

2010-07-19T23:29:00.004+08:00

19th July: Release of SHINee's Lucifer album
When I first heard Obsession teaser, I already fell in love w it
Y'don't know how crazy I am w this track, favouritest out of Lucifer
♥

LS

2010-07-17T23:01:00.002+08:00

Just came back from jamming session at Yishun. My band (Ais, Isma, Amirul and myself) with the other band (Felicia, Lucky, Daniel, Shing hou) booked the rooms last night for today's 630-830pm slots. It was cool and productive, lol. Was supposed to stay with the rest that wanted to play either bowling/pool after jamming but I had EoM to submit by 2359 so I headed back home. But I just got to know no one really know how to do the EoM and might not be handing up tonight -_-" I SHOULD HAVE STAYED FOR BOWLING W THE REST RIGHT?!?! ZZ. EURGHHHHHHH WASTED T_T Okey, now how to do EoM?! HELP! *freaking out*

Words are Strongest

2010-07-11T21:56:00.010+08:00

My existence
Friend, acquaintance, passer-by
I don't even know what am I to you
It just keep making me feel worse within

You're a major figure walking around in my life
And the baddesttttttthing, you don't even have a clue about it

I said Tomorrow
You never really fade away when those Tomorrows came

They say Human Heart always changes
I don't have the courage to grab and change your heart
Thus, I hope mine changes soon enough

Face it/Quit it?

2010-07-07T11:59:00.005+08:00

Absent today

So I realized I kept forgetting to eat my meds from the last doc visit
It's stupid cause I'm still stuck w this headache, fever, flu and stuffs

Yeah I know it's school but
I'll be out of sg just for a little while
--

Ask me how's my heart doing
Literally, lately

Human still

2010-07-05T22:59:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, just sometimes
I tend to forget the ones gone are
Really Gone

What if I'm gone
Will you miss my presence
Tell me bout it just so I can hear you

Do I sound scary
Leaving notes like these
Lately, tell me

Is it? Is it not?

2010-07-04T23:06:00.002+08:00

I think it's an Irony:

When your heart pains so much and you feel like it's time
So you went trying, begging for just a little while

Yet

You sometimes wish it's time and pray for a major heartquake
That will shatter your soul, your whole self-being

You're just sore, Loser

2010-07-04T18:23:00.011+08:00

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you

Guess I'm gonna be Moving On

2010-06-21T22:23:00.001+08:00

❒ Taken ❒ Single ✔ No longer giving a shit

Dae Guk Nam Ah (Awake)

2010-06-19T11:57:00.002+08:00

My 5 cutie D-NA babies have changed from this to
.
..
....
..
.
THIS:

HYUNMINs STILL MINE *death glare* xD

4609 Alexei's Farewell Bbq

2010-06-18T23:45:00.002+08:00

4609 ALEXEIs FAREWELL BBQ@PASIR RIS PARK PIT36

I did quite alot of fanning okey x)

Awwww, the best part: My lovely girls ♥

Hehehe happy sekali ^-^

Om mau buka langkah sama aku peeee lol xD

Shilarock and I w Alexei:)

Aaaa my bunny-peace sign xD

At least tell me When I should give you up

2010-06-16T23:22:00.002+08:00

They might say Hi and I might say Hey, but no they got nothing on you

They really got nothing on you but I gotta get you outta my system
Cause I just can't seem to make it clear to you

snn

2010-06-12T12:01:00.005+08:00

SUNAO NI NARENAKUTE Hard to say I love you
Personal comment: Related to Real life. A must watch ^^
I'm so waiting for upcoming Thursday fr ep10!~ Finished 9ep alr:D

WEAVERs Hard to Say I Love You (Sunao Ni Narenakute)
I always picture Nakaji running through the city w this song xD

Timeless love

2010-06-02T22:41:00.003+08:00

XIAH JUNSU/JANG RI AKA ZHANG LI YINs Timeless

So deep, so v deep. Just so v deep (w)

SPCA Literature visit was quite fun afterall ^^
What an experience. The stories just hit me hard. Tragical ones are killers to my heart:(
Aside from that, love the time we get to spend w the adorable, lonely, beautiful animals;)
My favourite is Silver. So v beautiful, words can't explain. I stared at him so long till the
in-charge offered to let me carry and hug him. Large for a cat, big bones, maine coon breed
Lovely. Totally made my day ^^ I want to bring him homeeeeeee gosh~ Nyahaha :D
Meet my beautiful baby, Silver:

Aight. Gonna be gone to Bintan by tomorrow for 4D3N camp!
Just finished packing. Hope I didn't miss anything! Eek:\
Take care, love y'all ♥

Tell me Goodbye

ISSBILY

2010-05-31T23:31:00.006+08:00

LIES I'm so sorry but I love you

Been so tired. So much for holidays eh? Not been having any breaks. School-related everyday. Tsk. Tomorrow, have to head down to school in the early morning to give my passport. Then the day after tomorrow, there's SPCA visit for Literature. I'd love to see the animals (omg cute puppies *squeals*) but I'm so exhausted, trust me. Haiz. Then on the 3rd, the camp at Bintan will then begin until the 6th. GOSH. SERIOUSLY, SO MUCH FOR HOLIDAYS. Come back from the camp, there's Mlep 10 anni rehearsals and the actual event day for which I'm gonna be the usher. Dang, I'll be mad tired and well, .. mad? Eek T_T Nawh. And not to forgetttt, my girls, the outing w my lovely ladies (SF) Real missing each of them, been so long since we met. Fetching the poly girls from school, outings, catching up w each other. Phew. And well, holiday packages to be done and extra lectures/classes *screams* Haiz.

Time to knock-out now. Sigh. Goodnight lovelies:)

FBs "Excuse me, can you empty your pockets? I believe you have stolen my heart" is Beautiful

Because Im stupid

2010-05-30T23:00:00.008+08:00

CITYINCOLOURS/STILLNOTDAVID/IZAKLYs Because I'm Stupid
(I always like Alan best xD Bias me~ Kekeke ^^)

Sports day was phew, awesomeness! ^-^ Firefightttt made Ijc rock it out and party! xD
They were so awesome. Played songs for us till the day turns dark. Gosh, it was great ^^

Yesterday along w today, became volunteer for SG Arts Fest at Malay Heritage Centre
Pree cool actually:) Though it's v, v tiring. It's a great experience! Foreigners xD
Aight, that's all. V quick update. Need to get rest. Take care ♥

Broken?

TMG

2010-05-17T21:24:00.005+08:00

Tell me Goodbye
(I swear I love the whole concept, the beats, the rhythm, the everything
Just the whole way Big Bang is - BIG BANG *phew)

Summer test is nearing
I'm doing my Math revision package right now
After this, up to do Malay essay that I owe so long ago, haiz:\
There's never really real time eh? I wish I could STEAL time away
Let me study productively within time given, and let me rest when I want to
Oh Time, Time oh Time

mochi oishi!~

2010-05-08T18:23:00.006+08:00

Woke up at 6 and didn't ko back to sleep xD
Flashmob prac at school around 10 in the morn
Wanted to go early to support Fai and Ais but oh well :x Keke xD

Exercise+dance under fire burning hot sun - Such a weather killer!
Fai had to go home early to change and emxci had plans - Left Ais and I
Wanted to have lunch while Ais wait for Fai (they're going to watch Animal Farm)
Went back and forth Causewaypoint and Civics Centre - Fastfood outlets fully packed
Kept staring at banners and display (tempted foreal!)- Bam! Bought and shared a box of..
MOCHI ICE-CREAM! ^_^

The cute packagings!~

Aaaaa mochi ice-creammmm so yummyyyyy good! ^-^

(w)
Your absence
Cant seem to decide if it
Makes the heart grows fonder
Or just this feelings turn to wither
(Too long. So long?)

:\

2010-05-06T19:05:00.000+08:00

Aw geez so cute!~ :D

My body ache real bad
Tomorrow's the first hearing
Justice and best solution please
Dong bang shin ki fighting!!~

Otoghe?

2010-05-02T14:20:00.010+08:00

MAYDONIs 몰라-ing (Molla/I Don't Know-ing)
This song's stuck in my head, on repeat
Such complexity of relationships. What if we fall for someone who's er, well.. gay? T_T
What a road that would be (I'd be lost too, if I did)

Quick update! :)

2010-04-29T20:52:00.005+08:00

Can't believe I ran 8rounds yesterday and 6rounds on the tracks today for PE T_T Phew, mad tiredddd foreal. Gosh.

And I'm feeling really thankful. I'm beginning to learn and constantly remind myself to love the things I dislike. I have to live with it, so might as well live it well right? So, I love Economics the best (Lol) and finds Malay Literature difficult to manage and handle. Just so you know, I don't understand ALOT of Malay words. Words spoken in class, I just don't understand. 90percent of the time I just can't seem to decipher what's the talk about. Damn disappointed but major lol as if it's a whole joke. I'm crawling slowly in this very subject, trying hard to learn slowly and well. English Literature is interesting yet it's just fast-moving and there's way too much informations to absorb. I have yet to finish the text. A very different Literature atmosphere from the Olevels one. I used to loveeeee Literature and can read the text To Kill a Mockingbird repeatedly. I can't even keep track how many times I did, lol. Just way different to the situation I'm facing now. I feel lethargic almost all the time in Literature tutorials yet I'm trying hard to stay alive and awake. It just takes some extra focus and interest, yeap I did quite fine today paying attention other than previously T_T Mathematics is the most neglected subject ever. I missed a lot of Math classes. I'm trying to catch up. We're at Binomial Distribution right now. I missed the first lecture yet thank God I managed to pay some extra focus again to catch up. I like this chapter the most, well for now xD

Let's just hope I constantly remind myself and study well in future to come. I want to do well, I really need to. I need to pull myself together and tell myself it's just two years and everything's gonna be over and done with. I really wish I have a tuition teacher, especially for Math. And perhaps yes, Economics too. I want Econs study group~ I need tuition teacher for Malay Literature too xD Wow, ridiculous hahaha. I think I need.. TIME. Lolll, oh wells~ I must be strong - Fighting!!~ :)

Junsu and Junho's arriving tonight. I swear I desperately wanted to go and see them even for just a moment. But I have PWs PI due tomorrow and I finished school quite late today. I'm regretting and disturbed that I'm not standing at the airport, awaiting for their arrival. But what can I do? If Changmin could talk to me.. He'd advise me to go home and study my school stuffs rather than go for these type of stuffs just like he do when answering fan questions. Lol, foreaaal thats' the Changmin we know and I love him still xD Really~ ^_^ Dyknow that I speak alot of Jaejoong and Changmin but I really love Junsu. I find him the beautifulesttttt (no such thing, but you get what I mean~) His talent and enchanting voice just crushes my heart, and rips my soul apart into million pieces. It's filled with so much passion and strength. He's so cute as the dolphin self yet so sexy when he moves his body. What a package. The member out of Dbsk that I'm real envious of when they one day have a girlfriend/wife would be Junsu. Hahaha. Real congratulate the lucky lady;) Aaa, I want to see him~ Whatever it is, I hope the Kim brothers are gonna enjoy and like it here in Singapore!~

DBSK

2010-04-25T23:55:00.007+08:00

I don't know how many times I've watched Love in the Ice, put them on repeat. I don't know how many times I've uploaded it on Blogger, Facebook, Twitter. The fact is, I'm in love with the song still. It's my favouritest song from Tohoshinki. I say Tohoshinki not Dbsk because I love the Japanese version more. The moment I first heard it, phew~ I knew it's gonna be my favouritest cause it's such a deep, charming, beautiful song. If I had to choose one song to live with for the rest of my life, it will be - Love in the Ice.

TOHOSHINKIs Love in the Ice:

I wish Dbsk gets back together soon, they just have to. A reason why: They're just Precious
Let's wait together~ Have Faith (always) ♥

You

2010-04-24T23:54:00.005+08:00

You're running on the tracks of my mind on daily basis. Images of you kept playing on repeat, just like a favourite scene of a favourite movie in my mind. The way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you talk, the way you walk, the way you carry your bag, the way you hold the sheets, the way you write, the way you think, the way you play your beats, the way you touch your hair, the way you sit, the way you hesitate, the way you be confident, the way you make mistakes, the way you control, the way you eat, the way you sit alone, the way you sit with your friends, the way you watch, the way you observe, the way you learn, the way you enjoy, the way you convince, the way you feel surprised, the way you are. The way you turned, the way you acknowledged me, the way you said hi, the way you smiled, the way you smiled again as your eye met mine for a moment that felt forever, the way our paths crossed, the way you slid pass just beside. The way you are in my mind, the way you are in my eyes. Just the way you really are, the way you make me constantly search for the shadows and sights of you. The way I see you, I just really think you're beautiful. And I'm growing fond of you.

Oh my god, I'm so random at such a crucial and precious time. Nyahaha xD I need to sleep cause I'm so deprived of rest. Foreal. Aight, love all of you. God bless. Nights~

TIRED

2010-04-23T02:33:00.007+08:00

It's 2:44 in the morning. I'm still up, working on my preliminary idea draft that is due later. I'm really trying. I really wish I'm sleeping. I know it won't be done soon, but I'll just do my best. Hope I get enough rest in 1/2 hours of sleep later on. Should get on it. Rest well all of you, goodnight~~

"More than the air I breathe"
"Look at me, I love you. You fool, everything about you is precious"

Like Jaejoong sent a message: Let's wait together!~
Idk. Every single word in this song means something so deep.
It's just so thoroughly meaningful and beautiful. Phew~
AKTF ♥